Live Loved LaShell
Follow Breanna as she runs a nonprofit , figures out life, and just enjoys each moment as it comes her way.
I am a recent college graduate and have no idea what to do with myself.
I was fortunate enough to graduate with my BBA with a concentration in Entrepreneurship from Anderson School of Management at the University of New Mexico (Go Lobos!!). Leading up to graduation I had SO many emotions, my poor family truly loves me y’all cause I was a mess. I battled with thoughts like “who am I if I am not a student?” School is something I have dedicated myself to doing extremely well in. I made A Honor Roll all throughout primary school, graduated #5 in a class of almost 500 students in high school. I made Dean’s List all 7 semesters of college and graduated Summa Cum Laude… That’s the thing about throwing your entire life into something, when it’s gone you question your identity, your worth , your value. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with striving to do well in school, but I did so much more than that. I allowed myself to be consumed by my education. It became a hiding place, a central intricate part of my identity and then I graduated. I graduated and the identity I had assigned to myself for the majority of my life was no longer valid, making me question my value, my purpose, my worth.
I was faced with the question, “Who am I if I’m not a student?” I wrestled with this question for weeks when finally I came to a new question, “Who do I want to be now that I am not a student?”
Y’all what a freeing question! For the first time in a very long time I had the feeling that I could be absolutely anyone or anything. I had the time and the resources to explore new things to make new mistakes and to pursue my passions that had been put on hold in order to excel in my education.
Maybe I will find something new to throw my life into, or maybe, just maybe I will find joy in many new somethings. Personally, I’m hoping for the latter because then instead of a ”student” or an “XYZ” I get to just be “Breanna” and I’m really looking forward to discovering just who “Breanna” is.
So what is the label you have attached your identity to? Is it student? Teacher? Mother? Friend? Daughter? Dancer? Athlete? Musician? Something else entirely? Whatever it is I challenge you to step back and rediscover the you behind the label. The one certainty of life is that nothing will ever remain exactly the same. Seasons change, interests shift, people grow up and you eventually graduate. We change and the labels we give ourselves will also change, when it does you have to be comfortable with the you that is left behind. I hope you take the time to love the true you right here, right where you are. Don’t be like me and have a straight identity crisis at 21, you have the ability to separate labels from identity, all you have to do is make the decision to.
Hoping this realization is as freeing to you as it has been for me. Praying this next season is beautiful, vibrant, fruitful, and oh so freeing!
Hey sweet friends!!! Welcome back to the blog. I have been working hard to get back to this, to get back to falling in love with not only writing, but with my life as a whole. As I was reflecting on why this blog was important to me and who I was hoping to reach, I wrote the phrase “she is tired of living her life apologetically.” Wow, talk about a wake up call because I have been living life apologetically. I have limited myself to the expectations of life and forgotten that it is okay to live outside of the box. It is okay to be a little unorthodox, to love yourself, to love life hard in whatever way that makes you happy. Living life in a bubble full of others, wants thoughts and expectations is exhausting. Life is short, take a chance, eat the extra piece of cake, go on the spontaneous road trip, love others HARD! You never know what will happen. Life has no problem with kicking our butts and laughing at us while it happens, it is important to snatch our small moments of joy. Coming from a perpetual people-pleaser this is a hard truth to swallow. It is also not an easy truth to live. So I thought I would share some of the things I am changing (or at least working on changing) to keep from living apologetically.
1.Schedule (at MINIMUM) 2 hours a week to do whatever makes my heart happy: nap read, watch a movie, sit and stare at the wall, whatever I want, without an explanation to anyone. NO guilt, no excuses.
2.Stop overbooking myself. My people pleasing heart hates to tell anyone “no.” This is all fine and dandy… at least until it isn’t and I’m on day 5 of less than 4 hours of sleep, not living my best life, while disappointing everyone I made commitments to in the process. Learning that it is okay to limit the time and energy I give out to others so I can give my best to what I’m working on is a crucial lesson for me.
3.Embracing the imperfections of life. Somehow it still disappoints me that I have an inability to be “perfect” or create “perfect” situations. I completely know and understand that perfection isn’t a possibility yet I still find myself feeling disappointed when I don’t meet my own personal impossible standards. This year I really want to lean into the imperfections, the messiness, the random left turns that throw me for a loop. I am slowly learning that my life is happening in these imperfect moments and instead of enjoying them, I am running from them.
These are my three big growth areas I hope to improve in 2019. Maybe these are your big areas as well, or maybe it is something totally different. Take some time to really do a heart check and decide what is preventing you from living your best beautiful life. Live life unapologetically friends, you deserve it!!
Isn’t it funny how you can be so determined and ready to go on a project and then life happens. In January 2018 I was SO excited to restart my blog and redevelop this “brand” I’m creating…. but then life happened. Now here we are, a year later and this is the first post since that New Years one… LOL! However I truly believe in the saying, “those who fail to plan, plan to fail” I can say that when it comes to this website and this blog I have failed to plan properly. I was obsessing over doing this “perfectly” of always having the perfect post with the perfect message but guys, I’m not perfect! My life is crazy, and frustrating, and beautiful, and fulfilling! There are ups and downs and unexpected twists and that’s okay! Embracing this new perspective along with a radical shift in my faith I realized I was missing the bigger picture. My imperfections aren’t a weakness but a strength, by being transparent about the fact that I’m a mess just like everyone else, I’m hoping my trials and struggles will make those inspiring messages of overcoming battles more relatable. I’m praying that this blog will become a place where anyone, no matter your walk, no matter your struggles, no matter what you are looking for you will find something you can relate to and find inspiration from. It’s about to get real here at www.breannalashell.com. I hope you will follow me on this journey and it can be a great tool, or at least some comic relief, for whatever path life has you on!
If there is something you would like to see make sure you are following me on social media and let me know!! There will be other content there that I simply can’t fit on the blog and I would love to hear what you are enjoying, not liking, or hoping to see more of!
For those who don’t know my handles here they are or you can click any of the social media icons on the website:
@livelovedlashell_ on Instagram
@breannalashell on FaceBook
Much Loves Always,